Royal scum

ROYAL SCROUNGER VISITS BARNSLEY   

      This Monday Barnsley hosted one of Britain's biggest benefit scroungers. Charles or (Charlie) as he likes to be called when being poked with a stick.  Charlie visited Wentworth castle to help open some miniature curtains by pulling a bit of string to reveal something shiny.Whilst at Wentworth castle Charlie spoke briefly to several bramble bushes and promised a nettle he would return in the spring to meet his friends.         

    Charlie then moved on to pull another bit of string to reveal a statue of Barnsley umpire Dickie Bird. Hundreds of people clapped and cheered as Charlie Britain's most gifted benefit scrounger made his way through Barnsley town centre. One concerned royalist onlooker said "he should be more careful. working and signing on. If social catch him  he'll have to pay it all back.  Our Andy got caught up a ladder in 1997 and we are still paying it off". The big crowds in Barnsley reflect how the town holds the Royal family in such high esteem. We spoke to Sheila Perkins who actually spoke to his majesty. Sheila said "its amazing anyone who can get £40 million a year out of those tight sods at the social deserve to have children waving flags at them". She went on to say. "I asked the prince how his father was after his recent illness". The prince said. "O he is much better thank you  daddy passed his ATOS test with flying colours".